Monday, 12 November 2012

Bullying | My Story

Bullying  is the use of force or coercion to abuse or intimidate others. Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse – emotionalverbal, and physical. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as intimidation.

My Story

When I was in year 7 and 8, I was bullied. There were these 3 girls who were really quite mean to me, they journeyed with me to school every weekday  and they'd put their bags next to the free seat next to them so I couldn't sit down, laugh and even hold their noses sometimes as I walked past.
I vividly remember crying all through the 30 minute journey to my school one time because I was sat next to one of the girls so she wrote 'Help Me' on the window of the bus. As you can imagine, I was very upset. I'd go to bed dreading waking up the next day because I knew I'd have to get the bus but on the bright side, I'd see my friends after the awful trip.

I spoke to my head of year at the time which resulted in her giving me a designated seat on the bus to stop them preventing me from sitting next to them. I'm not going to lie, it got worse. Although I could happily sit in peace on the bus, they'd still taunt me when they came on the bus with dirty looks. Once when I felt a little more confident, I decided to move a seat or two back and one of them told me to go back to the other seat. It really was horrible.

 I didn't feel like nobody at my school liked me because I had friends in the school, it was just the journey to and from school that was difficult for me to handle.

Luckily, in year 9 it stopped because one of them left after year 11, the other travelled on a new bus and the last stayed on the same bus as me but she was powerless without her gang. This saying "united we stand, divided we fall" is really fitting for this situation!

Now?

I'm glad I went through it because it makes me empathize so much more with people who are going or have gone through the same thing. It also keeps me grounded because I remember that I'm not more important or "cooler" than anyone else and I shouldn't make anyone feel the way I did.
I'm also glad that I endured it because I can talk to people who need a chat or advice. It always easier to suggest different ways to handle something when you've actually been through it, you see everything in a totally different way.

 At that age when you're so young everything and everyone else seem so much more bigger than you? For example, when I was in year 7 the people in year 11 scared me a lot because they were so tall and superior (in my eyes) but when I was in year 11, it was weird to think that I'd been so terrified before.


My Advice

Talk to someone. A teacher, a loyal friend or a parent or all of the above! Don't keep it bottled inside.  A problem shared is a problem half solved. Sometimes it's good to just let it all out to someone and let them know what you're going through.

It does get better. This period of hurting won't last. I remember what happened but I don't think about it a lot because it's so far in the past.

Spend time with your loved ones. I  loved getting to school and being able to laugh with my friends and just enjoy the moment and forget about those girls.

Do things you enjoy.  I love singing and singing made me have some self worth. I didn't feel so bad about my self because I knew I could do something well.

Forgive. If you've been through it and come out a stronger, better person, forgive and forget about those people. I've forgiven those girls now because it was so long ago and what they said about me then didn't/doesn't define my whole life. We're all humans and we all make mistakes. Honestly, I think if they knew how upset I felt about it they probably wouldn't have done it in the first place.


Use your words wisely. No one is perfect and we all say things we don't mean from time to time or we blurt them out in a way we didn't mean to. I'd say just talk to the person and let them know you didn't mean what was said in a rude way which means that more misunderstandings will remain just that, misunderstandings.

HERE is a website which has a lot of helpful anti-bullying links for both young people and adults.

Thanks for reading!
 I'm always here if you need to talk. Email me at loudlolalabel@hotmail.com
Tosin xo

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